'What do you do?' puts people in a box. 'What are you working on that excites you right now?' opens a door. The difference is whether you're labeling or curious.
Open questions invite, closed questions close.
'Do you like music?' ends fast. 'What song would you play someone to explain your current mood?' starts a real conversation. Always go open.
The follow-up is where connection happens.
Anyone can ask a first question. What separates great conversationalists is the follow-up: 'Why that?', 'What happened next?', 'How did that feel?'
Questions show you care.
The message behind a good question isn't the question itself — it's 'I'm interested in who you are.' People feel that. And they open up accordingly.
The best question has no right answer.
It invites reflection, not performance. 'What's something you believe that most people don't?' — there's no right answer. Just theirs. That's the goal.