When someone is hurting, we want to solve it. But most of the time, they don't need a solution — they need to feel heard. Fix mode shuts that down.
Say less, listen more.
'I'm here' is often more powerful than anything clever you could say. Presence — real, unhurried presence — is the core of support.
Don't make it about you.
'I know exactly how you feel, this happened to me once—' redirects the conversation to you when it should stay with them. Relate briefly if needed. Then return.
Ask: 'Do you want advice or do you just need to vent?'
This one question prevents the most common support failure. Most of the time the answer is: just vent. And knowing that means you can give them exactly what they need.
You don't need to make it better. You need to make them feel less alone.
That's the whole job. You're not their therapist. You're a person who showed up. In hard moments, that's worth more than any advice.